Dear Tech Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from GIRLFRIEND-7.0 to WIFE-1.0.
Soon I noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took a lot space and valuable resources.

In addition, WIFE 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other systems activities. Applications such like POKER NIGHTS-10.3, FOOTBALL-5.0, HUNTING-4.8, FISHING-7.5 and GOLFING-3.6.

I can’t seem to keep WIFE-1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to GIRLFRIEND-7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on WIFE-1.0 so please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User……..

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Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from GIRLFRIEND-7.0 to WIFE-1.0 thinking that it’s just a Utilities and Entertainment program. WIFE-1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!!! It’s also impossible to delete WIFE-1.0 and to return to GIRLFRIEND-7.0. It’s impossible to uninstall or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You can’t go back to GIRLFRIEND-7.0 because WIFE-1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your WIFE-1.0 manual under Warning-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep WIFE-1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The Best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

WIFE-1.0 is a great program but it tends to be very high maintenance. It comes with several support programs such as CLEAN-3.9, SWEEP-3.6, COOK-8.9 and do BILLS-4.2.

However be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NAG/NAG-9.9. Once this happens the only way to improve the performance of WIFE-1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend FLOWERS-2.1 AND DIAMONDS-5.0!

WARNING!!!!
DO NOT under any circumstances install SECRETARY WITH SHORT SKIRT-3.3. This application isn’t supported by WIFE-1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best Luck,

Tech Support!