Game Warden vs. The Hillbilly

A hillbilly went hunting one day in Kentucky and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies. The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license,and the hillbilly pulled out a valid Kentucky hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Kentucky. This is a Tennessee duck. You got a Tennessee huntin' license, boy?"

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Tennessee hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Tennessee duck. This duck's from Mississippi. You got a Mississippi license?"

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Mississippi hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck , sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Mississippi duck. This here duck's from South Carolina. You got a South Carolina huntin' license?"

Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly, "Boy, just where the hell are you from?"

The hillbilly turned around, dropped his pants, bent over, and said, "You tell me. You're the expert."

Indian Humor

Indian Humor

A couple on the rez had been married for many years, and their son Bahe had gotten old enough to date. One day the boy brought a girl over to dinner.

The mother was thrilled with her son's choice and couldn't wait for the wedding.

However, the father was upset and, eventually, the boy asked, "Dad, why don't you seem happy with her. Mom likes her a lot."

The father explained, "No Bahe, there's nothing wrong with the girl. It's just that I cheated on your mother a long time ago, and the girl you've been dating is my daughter by that woman."

So Bahe dumped her and found himself another girl. Again, he brought her home to the mother's delight, but the father again told him this girl was actually his half-sister. The boy lost his temper and told his mother what his father had said.

Furious, the mother shouted, "Don't listen to him, sweetheart! He isn't even your father!

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Why was the Christmas Pageant cancelled on the Indian Reservation?
"Because there were no wise men nor virgins to be found anywhere on the reservation"

What does a Navajo Man and Santa Claus have in common?
"They both have a big nose and work only once a year"

Why was the Easter Egg Hunt cancelled on the Reservation?
"Because all the powdered eggs blew away"

Why are Indian men like parking spaces?
"The good ones are taken and the ones left over are all handicapped"

An Indian with a very big belly went to the doctor.
The doctor looked at his belly and said "You should diet"

The Indian asked the doctor "What color?"

What did the Indian couple ask their divorce lawyer?
"Can we still be cousins?"

What do you call an Indian man without a woman?
"Homeless"

What do you call a white man surrounded by a bunch of Indians?
"A Bingo Caller"

What is a definition of confusion on the reservation?
"Father's Day"

Was Jesus American Indian?...

Was Jesus American Indian?...Black, Jewish, Italian, Irish, or Californian?

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone "brother."
2. He loved Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:

1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3 And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off thier ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is... why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick thier asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?"... No loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'New & Improved'! Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "Life is short"... What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here, dumbass?

The Guys Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

"365 Tips For Parents"

#001: Cut off the crusts.
#002: Make real cocoa.
#003: Hang their drawings on the fridge.
#004: Say the clay ashtray is what you always wanted.
#005: Sing silly songs.
#006: Make goofy faces.
#007: Let them take off the training wheels.
#008: Remind the Tooth Fairy about inflation.
#009: Buy a good stain remover.
#010: Let them keep the kitten.
#011: Remember when YOU misbehaved.
#012: If you don't know, say so.
#013: Let grandma spoil them.
#014: Let them stay up just a little bit longer.
#015: Lock up the good china.
#016: Tickle.
#017: Be a good sport.
#018: Be a good friend.
#019: Smile when your mother-in-law gives you advice.
#020: ALL mothers are working mothers.
#021: Ultimatums don't work.
#022: Bribes work.
#023: Hysteria will get you nowhere.
#024: Their first summer at camp is murder.
#025: Let them lick the spoon.
#026: Learn lots of lullabies.
#027: Breastfeeding in public goes over better in Europe.
#028: Learn to handle sleep deprivation.
#029: Have an answer ready for "Where do babies come from?"
#030: Don't flinch when they grow taller than you.
#031: Going to college don't mean they won't come back.
#032: Don't teach them to parallel park.
#033: Be consistent.
#034: Think quick.
#035: Improvise.
#036: Sympathize.
#037: Remember: It's just a phase.
#038: "Wait till your father gets home" is a cop-out.
#039: "Because I said so" is a good reason.
#040: Never tell them how much they'll inherit.
#041: Teach them four precious words: "We can't afford it.".
#042: Carry Wash'n Dri.
#043: Smile when you change that diaper.
#044: It's absolutely okay to say "No".
#045: Buy chunky peanut butter in jumbo jars.
#046: Run a credit line at the toy store.
#047: Forget suede.
#048: Teachers ARE underpaid.
#049: Learn the rules of football.
#050: Teach them to write thank you notes.
#051: Your teenage daughter WILL find you embarrassing.
#052: Cheese food is not cheese.
#053: Thirteen is too late to put them up for adoption.
#054: Potty training builds character (yours).
#055: Sibling rivalry builds character (theirs).
#056: Worry, worry, worry.
#057: Childbirth is not for wimps.
#058: Stretch marks are a badge of honor.
#059: Half your brain leaves with the placenta.
#060: Donate pre-pregnancy jeans to charity.
#061: Don't read the label on baby formula.
#062: With luck, they'll call you once a week when they leave.
#063: With luck, they won't call collect.
#064: With luck, they'll pay for their own therapy when grown.
#065: No matter what, they'll always be your babies.
#066: The older they get, the wiser you'll seem.
#067: Just when you've got them figured out, they change.
#068: Kiss it an make it better.
#069: Make ice cube popsicles.
#070: If you promised, do it.
#071: Watch what you promise.
#072: When in doubt, say "We'll see."
#073: Bunk beds are cool.
#074: You'll sometimes act just like YOUR mother.
#075: Buy Permapress.
#076: Use the honor system.
#077: You can only shoot so much videotape.
#078: Pose good questions.
#079: Colic happens.
#080: Cowlicks happen.
#081: Look what being a martyr got Joan of Arc.
#082: A dishwasher is not a luxury.
#083: The new math is harder than the old math.
#084: Let's hear it for leftovers.
#085: Don't leave their teddy bear behind.
#086: Learn to make daisy chains.
#087: Not everyone can be a valedictorian.
#088: They're never too old to scold.
#089: They're never too big to hug.
#090: They're never too smart to receive some good advice.
#091: They're never too rich to take home your leftovers.
#092: Don't remind your grown son you changed his diapers.
#093: If they grow up to be doctors, take the credit.
#094: If they grow up to be lawyers, don't take the blame.
#095: If they become pro-athletes, take the house & car.
#096: If they become politicians they were switched at birth.
#097: Don't teach the kids your fear of bugs.
#098: Take them to a petting zoo.
#099: Don't use a pediatrician who isn't a parent.
#100: You can never have too many Kleenex.
#101: Reserve the New Year's Eve babysitter on January 2.
#102: You can blame just about anything on teething.
#103: Some of the great minds of our time were bed wetters.
#104: Let someone else break the news about Santa Claus.
#105: Not everyone can win the Pillsbury Bake-Off.
#106: Iodine really DOES sting.
#107: Mother's Day comes but once a year--milk it.
#108: Adjust allowances for cost of living.
#109: Cookie dough is better than cookies.
#110: Don't let the kids forget Father's Day.
#111: Tie their mittens together.
#112: When they say they've got to go, stop!
#113: An unmade bed is easier to get into.
#114: Prove there's no monster under the bed.
#115: Hugs are the antidotes to nightmares.
#116: Don't put their favorite blankie in the wash.
#117: Disney World is not optional.
#118: A little fast food never killed anyone.
#119: They already know more about computers than you do.
#120: Even George Bush didn't eat his broccoli.
#121: Teach the kids to recycle.
#122: Someday your son will love another woman.
#123: When they leave home, you'll actually miss them.
#124: Whatever your age, you're too young to be a grandma.
#125: The more they tease you, the more you're loved.
#126: Always make their favorite dish when they visit.
#127: Believe it or not, SATs aren't everything.
#128: Yes, it's important they wear what their friends wear.
#129: Teenagers are SUPPOSED to dress goofy.
#130: Yes, we're all tired of dinosaurs.
#131: Anyone can make a secret special sauce.
#132: Buy them a globe.
#133: Socks and underwear are not gifts.
#134: Ear thermometers beat rectal any day.
#135: Hide old toys and reintroduce them next week.
#136: Bribe the babysitter with Hagen-Dazs.
#137: No matter what, your son will wind up with a toy gun.
#138: No matter what, your daughter will want Barbie.
#139: No matter what, you will memorize GOOD NIGHT MOON.
#140: Puberty was hell for you too.
#141: They'll always bring home their laundry.
#142: Courage.
#143: Grace doesn't count unless it's under pressure.
#144: Many geniuses were late bloomers.
#145: When you retire, feel free to spend their inheritance.
#146: Hold their hands during vaccinations.
#147: Look encouraging at the dentist.
#148: Don't give your son a crew cut.
#149: "Bambi" is too scary for five-year olds.
#150: Froot Loops are NOT a balanced meal.
#151: Yes, they need all sixty-four Crayolas.
#152: No, they can't have a pony.
#153: Chicken soup couldn't hurt.
#154: Keep the cookie jar full.
#155: Tuck them in.
#156: Add sound effects to the bedtime story.
#157: No, they REALLY can't have a pony.
#158: Gingerbread houses aren't worth the work.
#159: Tollhouse cookies ARE worth the work.
#160: Put plenty of icing on birthday cakes.
#161: Don't tell you helped blow out the candles.
#162: Kids give more gifts than they'll receive.
#163: Kids WILL drink straight from the carton.
#164: Look sad when the snowman melts.
#165: Kids prefer hot dogs to duck a l'orange.
#166: A sense of humor is a necessity.
#167: They don't call it women's intuition for nothing.
#168: Insist on short-haired dogs.
#169: Coax the cat out of the tree.
#170: For the last time, a pony is out!
#171: Sew name tags in their underwear.
#172: Be a den mother.
#173: Let your daughter have a training bra.
#174: Buy your share of EXPENSIVE Girl Scout cookies
#175: Cultivate the art of napping.
#176: Washable markers aren't.
#177: Help build a sandcastle.
#178: Let them make a fort out of boxes.
#179: Piano lessons aren't for everyone.
#180: Tell Dad to share the toy trains.
#181: Tell your daughter she CAN be a fire fighter.
#182: Host a slumber party.
#183: Don't hover.
#184: Childhood doesn't go as fast as they say.
#185: Don't make your twelve-year-old shop for underwear.
#186: Take snapshots on the first day of school.
#187: Help carve a pumpkin.
#188: Sail paper airplanes.
#189: Teach them to whistle.
#190: Volunteer for class trips.
#191: Join the PTA.
#192: Don't panic.
#193: Hunt for four-leaf clovers.
#194: Befriend other mothers.
#195: Don't let kids record answering machine messages.
#196: Scotchguard everything.
#197: There's a little Martha Stewart in all of us.
#198: Never use the check-out with the candy display.
#199: All car trip diversions last three minutes.
#200: Snowsuits induce the desire to go to the bathroom.
#201: Let them eat Oreos inside-out.
#202: Be ready when kids ask "What were the Beatles?".
#203: You did SO do that at their ages.
#204: The more solemn the moment, the louder they cry.
#205: Kids get dirty quicker on more important occasions.
#206: Don't take kids grocery shopping on empty stomachs.
#207: Forget your moral objections to pacifiers.
#208: Forbidden junk food will be eaten at neighbor's house.
#209: Prohibited TV shows will be watched at neighbor's home.
#210: Tell know-it-alls: Mind your own business.
#211: Put a lock on your bedroom door.
#212: Trust your instincts.
#213: Occasionally you WILL use the TV as a babysitter.
#214: If they won't clean their plates, use smaller plates.
#215: Pack school lunches with good trading items.
#216: There's a lot of wisdom in MAD magazine.
#217: Don't flush the fish.
#218: Let them eat cake.
#219: Let them eat animal crackers.
#220: Keep smiling.
#221: There's no escaping car pools.
#222: Yes, they'll need braces.
#223: Yes, they'll need stitches.
#224: Guilt is an art form.
#225: Curfews are made to be broken.
#226: Dry their tears.
#227: Play Name the State Capitals.
#228: Teach them to read maps.
#229: Do a jigsaw puzzle together.
#230: Ask only that they try their best.
#231: Your son's wife will not be pretty enough.
#232: Your daughter's husband will not earn enough.
#233: When they have kids, they'll REALLY appreciate you.
#234: Grandchildren are for spoiling.
#235: Transfer old home movies to video.
#236: Make lemonade from real lemons.
#237: It's your duty to brag.
#238: Point out that your granddaughter has your eyes.
#239: Be sure to mention that your grandson has your smile.
#240: Let your daughter think she's a better mother than you.
#241: When daughter's in labor don't say "Now you know.".
#242: Teenage daughters are hazardous to your health.
#243: Teenage sons are hazardous to their own health.
#244: How long CAN you put off the birds & bees lecture?
#245: How many times can you rewrite your will?
#246: Never buy retail.
#247: Cheer when they get their driver's licenses.
#248: Smile when they squash your Chevy.
#249: Send a care package to college.
#250: Resist the impulse to clean their dorm rooms.
#251: If they become Ivy Leaguers it's because of YOUR genes.
#252: If they're going to State, it's because of Dad's genes.
#253: Teach them to swim early.
#254: Insist on bike helmets.
#255: Learn CPR.
#256: Take them to the circus.
#257: Send an apple for the teacher.
#258: No blue hair.
#259: Remind them when it's your silver anniversary.
#260: Forbid them to put you in a nursing home.
#261: Threaten to haunt them from beyond the grave.
#262: Ask them for advice once in a while.
#263: Look humble when they say "How'd you do it, Mom?"
#264: Pass along your wedding dress to your daughter.
#265: Give Snickers at Halloween.
#266: Remember the names of their stuffed animals.
#267: Watch all the Peanuts TV specials.
#268: Buy industrial-size detergent boxes.
#269: Learn to say "Watch out!" with feeling.
#270: Buy them cool lunch boxes.
#271: Remain calm when you find your son's "Playboy".
#272: Remain calm when you find daughter's birth control.
#273: Your daughter's house will never be as clean as yours.
#274: Dance a tango at your child's wedding.
#275: Reminisce.
#276: Make their Halloween costumes.
#277: Play Scrabble with them.
#278: Play cards with them.
#279: Good news and bad: Anything can be a toy.
#280: Good news and bad: Before you know it, they're walking.
#281: Good news and bad: Before you know it, they're talking.
#282: Good news & bad: Before you know it they're in college.
#283: Keep a first-aid kit handy.
#284: You and Dad need a "Date Night".
#285: Let them make their own sundaes.
#286: Don't show their dates naked baby pictures.
#287: Traditions are important.
#288: Don't forget, each new kid is a tax deduction.
#289: Teach them to love libraries.
#290: Help start a stamp collection.
#291: Give pennies for piggy banks.
#292: Learn to love Trolls.
#293: Pray for a chicken pox vaccine.
#294: Don't insist on combing your daughter's hair in public.
#295: Try to get some breakfast in them.
#296: Ice cream still solves most problems.
#297: You can't praise a kid too much.
#298: Buy them a good dictionary.
#299: Let them have an aquarium.
#300: Shiny thing in driveway is your kid's new retainer.
#301: Always look before sitting.
#302: Have a snowball fight.
#303: Hold hands while crossing.
#304: Let them visit where you work.
#305: No matter what, they'll bring home colds from school.
#306: Remember what happened to Joan Crawford.
#307: Don't weep when the school bus takes them away.
#308: Attend school plays.
#309: Don't yell at Little League umpires.
#310: Junior High is traumatic.
#311: Everyone tries to get out of gym class.
#312: Before disciplining -- decompress.
#313: They'll outgrow their shoes before the laces get dirty.
#314: Let them play dress up.
#315: Learn to throw a baseball.
#316: Learn to catch a boomerang.
#317: If they created it at camp, put it on display.
#318: Food fights happen.
#319: Get washable wallpaper.
#320: Don't let them call you by your first name.
#321: They DO look cutest when they're sleeping.
#322: Tell ghost stories.
#323: Kids love antiheroes.
#324: Remember how your mother felt about Mick Jagger.
#325: Celebrate Velcro!
#326: Record their singing.
#327: She's all grown up when she stretches your sweater.
#328: You know your son's grown up when he blushes.
#329: Hang a tire swing.
#330: They'll eat paper and dirt and survive.
#331: If all else fails, take them to the video arcade.
#332: Let them get their ears pierced.
#333: Monster truck rallies can be educational.
#334: Let them play cowboy.
#335: Discourage them from tying up the babysitter.
#336: Don't hold up other people's children as role models.
#337: When they fall asleep in the stroller, don't move them.
#338: Show them photos of yourself as a child.
#339: Let's hear it for stereo headphones.
#340: Cartoons are a good way to learn classical music.
#341: Don't kiss teens in front of their friends.
#342: No credit cards until they graduate.
#343: Check before believing Dad said it was okay.
#344: Murphy's Law is true.
#345: Feel free to remind them of your labor pains.
#346: Sometimes you'll have to tell little white lies.
#347: Remember that you used Cliff Notes too.
#348: At least comic books mean they're reading.
#349: Disposable diapers are worth the guilt.
#350: Don't buy infant clothes without snaps.
#351: Clothes that fit just right are too small.
#352: Everybody's a critic.
#353: Get call waiting.
#354: If you have teenagers, get your own phone.
#355: You know more about chaos theory than most physicists.
#356: Grass stains are Mother Nature's way of saying "Hi".
#357: Nervous breakdowns-Nature saying "Take it easy.".
#358: Arrange to sleep in at least once a month.
#359: Know when enough is enough.
#360: Don't mention their zits.
#361: When technology is ready, clone yourself.
#362: Let your daughter wear your high heels.
#363: Admire your son's mustache even if you can't see it.
#364: Discourage grown kid's from writing a tell-all book.
#365: You'll never stop wondering if you did a good job.

Memories

A little house with three bedrooms and one car on the street,
A mower that you had to push to make the grass look neat.

In the kitchen on the wall we only had one phone,
No need for recording things, someone was always home.

We only had a living room where we would congregate,
Unless it was at mealtime in the kitchen where we ate.

We had no need for family rooms or extra rooms to dine,
When meeting as a family those two rooms would work out fine.

We only had one TV set, and channels maybe two,
But always there was one of them with something worth the view.

For snacks we had potato chips that tasted like a chip,
And if you wanted flavor there was Lipton's onion dip.

Store-bought snacks were rare because my mother liked to cook,
And nothing can compare to snacks in Betty Crocker's book.

The snacks were even healthy with the best ingredients,
No labels with a hundred things that make not a bit of sense.

Weekends were for family trips or staying home to play,
We all did things together -- even go to church to pray.

When we did our weekend trips depending on the weather,
No one stayed at home because we liked to be together.

Sometimes we would separate to do things on our own,
But we knew where the others were without our own cell phone.

Then there were the movies with your favorite movie star,
And nothing can compare to watching movies in your car.

Then there were the picnics at the peak of summer season,
Pack a lunch and find some trees and never need a reason.

Get a baseball game together with all the friends you know,
Have real action playing ball -- and no game video.

Remember when the doctor used to be the family friend,
And didn't need insurance or a lawyer to defend?

The way that he took care of you or what he had to do,
Because he took an oath and strived to do the best for you.

Remember going to the store and shopping casually,
And when you went to pay for it you used your own money?

Nothing that you had to swipe or punch in some amount,
Remember when the cashier person had to really count?

Remember when we breathed the air; it smelled so fresh and clean,
And chemicals were not used on the grass to keep it green.

The milkman used to go from door to door,
And it was just a few cents more than going to the store.

There was a time when mailed letters came right to your door,
Without a lot of junk mail ads sent out by every store.

The mailman knew each house by name & knew where it was sent;
There were not loads of mail addressed to "present occupant."

Remember when the words "I do" meant that you really did,
And not just temporarily 'til someone blows their lid.

T'was no such thing as "no one's fault; we just made a mistake,"
There was a time when married life was built on give and take.

There was a time when just one glance was all that it would take,
And you would know the kind of car, the model and the make.

They didn't look like turtles trying to squeeze out every mile;
They were streamlined, white walls, fins, & really had some style.

One time the music that you played whenever you would jive,
Was from a vinyl, big-holed record called a forty-five.

The record player had a post to keep them all in line,
And then the records would drop down and play one at a time.

Oh sure, we had our problems then, just like we do today,
And always we were striving, trying for a better way.

And every year that passed us by brought new and greater things,
We now can even program phones with music or with rings.

Oh, the simple life we lived still seems like so much fun,
How can you explain a game, just kick the can and run?

And why would boys put baseball cards between bicycle spokes,
And for a nickel red machines had little bottled Cokes?

This life seemed so much easier and slower in some ways,
I love the new technology but I sure miss those days.

So time moves on and so do we, and nothing stays the same,
But I sure love to reminisce and walk down memory lane.